I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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