Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
