is your mom at the bar?
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
