My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Let's paint friendship bongs
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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