Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
