how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
