I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
