This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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