return my video game
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
