Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
