Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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