My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
