I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
