fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it was like eating out sand paper
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he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
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Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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