So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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