omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
