I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Randomize
