Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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