I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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