you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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