brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
