Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
