you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
