not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
