i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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