Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
