I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
