I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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