so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
