Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
