ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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