dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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