No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
