My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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