scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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