I bet he comes in French.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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