I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
