Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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