I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
