i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The adults are the big ones right?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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