I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
