Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
