Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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