I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
