she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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