oh god the rape fog is back!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
as a side note pls kill me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
