it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
