I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
