Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
