2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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