Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
