I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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