Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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