Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
