I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
