i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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