I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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