Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
