I need help removing her.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
