I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
