so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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