9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
