theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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