Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
