Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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