Define "chronic" masturbator.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you will always have a special place in my vag
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
