just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He felt like a one man threesome
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
